At least 3-4 times a year (sometimes more, thanks to this blog) I’ll be in the middle of a conversation with someone about money or finances when they ask me, “How did you do it?”–referring to paying off my $30,000 student loan debt. Usually they’re surprised and slightly confused about how someone “so young” (I guess I must look younger than I am-thanks mom & dad for those youthful genes!) could have paid off her student loans in full.
Often the conversation sounds something like this:
Peer: “Well you know how the student loans are!”
Me: “I hear ya, I’m so glad to have Sallie Mae out of my life.”
Peer: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I paid off my student loans a few years back.”
Peer: “You already paid off ALL of your loans?”
Me: “Yeah, it wasn’t easy, but I made some sacrifices and it definitely paid off.”
That’s when he/she looks at me like I have three heads, and then ask a series of follow-up questions like:
1. Question: “Where did you go to school?”
Assumption: This questioner in this scenario is usually trying to figure out the approximate cost of of attendance where I went to school. Basically, did I attend a school with really inexpensive tuition? I think the assumption is, I must have gone to a less expensive or in-state university, because there’s no way I could have paid off all of my student loan debt so young if I went to private schools (typically I don’t disclose that I owed $30k in student loans, unless someone specifically asks me-or you read my blog-wink).
Truth: Both my undergraduate and graduate schools were private universities. Both cost more than $30k per year. I was very fortunate to receive a large scholarship for undergrad. I also worked in between undergrad and grad school and was able to save a little chunk of money that I used to pay for living expenses once I moved to NYC for grad school.
2. Question: “Have you always worked in social work?”
Assumption: I must have worked at a “for-profit” after grad school to be able to pay off my debt so quickly. Or maybe I had a previous career that paid better.
Truth: Since I graduated from college, all of my jobs have been in the non-profit arena. I was never an investment banker, nor did I start out my career as a lawyer and transition into social work. My first “job” when I finished college was with a temp agency and then a legal services office. I was placed at the legal services office as part of my Americorps Volunteer year. My volunteer stipend was $12,000 a year!
3. Question: “What does your boyfriend do?”
Assumption: My boyfriend must have helped me pay off my student loan debt. Since he works in finance, people tend to assume he’s bringing in the “big money”. Don’t get my wrong bf does well for himself, but we aren’t married and his money is his.
Truth: This one sort of annoys me. I got into my “mess” on my own and I got out on my own.
4. Question: “What do your parents do?” or “Where are you originally from?”
Assumption: My parents paid for my schooling. Or maybe I’m from a wealthy suburb of the city. Certain towns and counties outside NYC have a reputation for being extremely affluent. Just mentioning that you’re from a certain town gives people a perception about you and your family’s wealth.
Truth: I’m from a very rural fishing village on the coast of Maine. My mom is a school teacher and my step-dad works for the State of Maine. While they’re both established in their careers now, our early days were only “rich” in love.
Do people make assumptions about your finances? Are they frustrating or flattering?
Image: Brett Jordan